KHxSW (Demo)

by The Business Fairy

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credits

released August 30, 2010

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The Business Fairy Blairstown, New Jersey

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Track Name: Away
It's been another day since my baby's been away
And I've been looking forward to say
How much I love her and how much I need her
And how much I want her to stay

I got your letter today and I just wanted to say
That I miss you, baby
I really don't know how things are supposed to go on
Without you around

It's been another week since my baby has been seen
And I'm not too keen of the pattern I see
It could be another month until I feel her touch
I'm falling apart at the seams.

I guess we've got to be strong but I'm not sure for how long
I'll be able to contain
All my feelings inside before I'm fatally deprived
Of your lovely company
Track Name: 22 Years
I've been around for 22 years
And never once did I fear
Being with someone like you
But 6 months ago I slipped up and now you're here
And it seems weird
Being with someone like you

I know it's what you said that night in bed
But I'm still not sure I understand what you meant
When you said it's obvious this is never going to end
And I'm sure this song will come off wrong
Even though being honest is what you want
But I'm sure this truth hurts a little bit

There's nothing I want more than just the two of us to get along like we used to
But it seems unlikely that we'll be any more than just friendly to each other

So last night it just wouldn't end again
But instead we took steps to try to understand
Relating constants and differences and what they all must have meant
We're moving in the right direction
To strengthen our connection
Keeping this relationship intact

You are everything I never knew I wanted until the day that I met you
It took some time but finally I realize how amazing you really are
Track Name: I Had A Thought
To be thinking something
Other than what I've been thinking
Gets hard at times I know
To know what I've been thinking
but no matter what I'm thinking
Just know that I'm thinking about you

I had a thought
It was beautiful, deep down
Inside I hope that this girl will never be
Gone more than she already is.

They say that the easiest way to a guy's heart is
Through the chest with a sharp knife
But I digress
Just know that you've made it
Without any massive blood loss
Track Name: Sunshine
You make me feel like fucking sunshine when you walk into the room
Except my actual feelings for you have been ruined by the huge
Amount of heroin flowing through my veins
I have only seconds to live before it completely shuts down my brain

So hold me close before you throw me away
I knew this day would come,
Who would've known it'd be today
They say to have loved and lost is better than nothing at all
But that's just a bad opinion
I would've rather have had nothing to lose
Than holding onto something I would have to end up shaking loose
And then the cycle just repeats itself
Until you find the motivation to end it all yourself

I used to feel like fucking sunshine when you walked into the room
Except now this relationship's been ruined and there's nothing you can do
About the huge amount of heroin contained in these veins
That has succeeded in it's mission in shutting down my brain
Track Name: Make Ends Part
Just let me go back to sleep
Please let me feel the need to
Hate everything about you
And feel bad for just being me
I thought things were going great
I guess there's too much difference
In our personalities
To make any of these ends meet

I've got better things to do
Than spend my time with you
If I have to keep worrying about what I say being an issue
It's just too much right now
I need time to clear my mind
It's not that I don't like you, I've just been a bit stressed out

I know I made a mistake
I'm not asking you to take me back
Just for you to forgive me
For the things I allowed to happen
But to say that I don't care
Is a little harsh from my perspective
I've been an emotional wreck
Ever since the day I left

Now that I've screwed up any chance with you
I'll have to find something else to do
And I think ending my life
Is a good way to spend the rest of my time
You should know I'd take it all back if I could
And if you don't well, now you should
Pull the hood over my head, nice and tight
Swing the bat back and say goodnight
Track Name: P.S.H.
Your mother and I apologize for the life you've been deprived
Our daughter's been reassigned
Trauma and surprise are emotions tough to hide
So baby girl, please don't you cry
I did my best, we both sacrificed
But sometimes no matter how hard you try
Things just don't seem to work out right

But I recognize the look in her eyes
Whenever her name happens to arise
Just for the sake of the child
Can we be a little more civilized
Either way, I'd give my life
For a chance to make this right
It takes time but we'll pull through
Paisley Sue, someday I will be back for you

I know it's been said and done
And things are better left alone
A little girl can be terrible
Especially when you'll never know her
And you'll miss seeing her grow up
You won't be there to kiss her goodnight
Now her life has been compromised
Without her father by her side
Track Name: By Myself
I cried myself to sleep last night over you
But it wasn't because you are gone
It's because you're still here but you might as well be
Somewhere else with some other guy
I guess my good looks and my wit ain't enough
To win over your affection
So here I am back at square one once again
And I'm dangerously low on options

I'm tired of being second best to the cat
Or whatever movie you're watching that night
Being with you I just can't help but feel
That I'm still all by myself

I spent the day alone in my room writing this
For you and I hope you like it
Because I've worked really hard and I've tried to express
My feelings and all the hurt you've caused
When it comes to mind it's like physical pain
Leaving my heart on the verge of breaking
And you know that I love and I care about you
But the thought of you is so uninviting

I'm tired of the anger behind all your words
Whenever I tell you how badly it hurts
And if I'm going to feel like I'm all by myself
Then I'll just be all by myself
Because I'm already all by myself
Track Name: Untitled
It's been a long time since I've seen your face
And I can't help but smile when
It comes into my head again and again
And I wish it would never go away
But despite my feelings it never seems to want to stay
But I don't blame it, it's not the only thing that wants out of this head

I know it's hard to move on when there's no one left to pick up the slack
And it's not easy to see the end when the ones you love don't have your back

It's been so long but I finally got to see your face today
I wouldn't be lying if I told you it was definitely worth the wait
But despite my feelings, you're reluctant to feel the same
I don't blame you, there have been a lot of things that would make me feel the same way
Track Name: Idiot
Even if this is the end I'll still love you 'til death
And when I burn down your house you'll know I meant
Every word I said, All the things inside my head are now surfacing
As you burn alive, the smoke will stifle your cries
You'll recollect the words and they'll race through your mind
And you'll realize

I'm an idiot, you can't save me from myself
There's nothing that can be done that will do the least bit of help
I need to be put down before I hurt somebody else
The love of my life would love to see me burn in hell

As I go out of my head
She just waits and she waits
For just the right guy to take her away from this place
Away from the heartache, away from the pain
As soon as it's passed and I start to relax
Even though hesitant, she still makes her way back
And I now understand

She's ridiculous, and after wracking my brain
I still have not the slightest clue what to do or what to say
All this back and forth and back and forth is driving me insane
Let us just get back together and call it a day

Amazingly, I'm losing it
I'm not sure how much more I can take
Before this feeling's permanent
I have slowly been numbed by the wait
The overwhelming is fierce
But it's starting to cease
I just hope when this ends
I'm still here in one piece
Everyday it becomes more and more obvious

We're both immature, I know at time it seems
The things that are done and said between us have no actual meaning
But still we do and say these things and continue to refuse to believe
The consequences of our actions that we have released
Hoping one day she'll finally see what I see
But the girl of my dreams never sleeps
Track Name: Just With You
Lay on my back, look up at the sky
Watch thoughtfully as a shooting star goes by
If only I could've shared this moment with you
Just with you

This time of night, the stars look so beautiful
I can see mars, a burning bright ball of orange
But not even these compare to just the thought of you
Just the thought of you

But I'm going my own way this time
And I don't care who or what I leave behind
Because no matter what I come to find
I'll always have the thought of you on my mind
Track Name: The Light
What would I do with out you showing me everything
That I see while you're here next to me allowing me to breath
The fresh air again I now know what I need
All the things hidden deep inside are now surfacing
Where attention and concern are applied directly
And the wounds of the past long awaiting relief
Can finally be relieved

You've done it, I've seen it, the light that shines bright
From the headlights of cars moving in and out of sight
Waiting for just the right moment to make the critical strike
An attempt at salvation to regain confidence in this trivial life

Seconds turn to hours as I admit my defeat
While you wait unsuspectingly in the driver's seat
My silhouette instantly takes shape in the street
And I'm washed away by the light that you've led me to see
Track Name: I Have A Problem
I'm going to get you so wet that I drown when I go down on you
It may be hard to believe but I frown when they laugh at you
I know when I'm kidding but their intent may be different.
I got nothing against them but you're mine to do my bidding

I'm going to hit you so hard that I bruise the very core of you
Please don't be mistaken, I'm not going to hold back for you
I have no problem admitting that I don't give a shit
I don't care that you're a woman, you'll receive what you're deserving

If you ever leave me, you'll regret it for as long as you live
Fortunately for you, that's the least of your problems
Because if you ever leave me again
You're dead

Actions speak louder than words, I'm going to murder you
I've reached the end of my rope, and I'm done putting up with you
I've set it in motion, your demise is approaching
You better brace yourself because it's going to be mind-blowing

I apologize for every time I lost my temper
It's a disease in which I'm cursed but I'm getting better
Please don't let this put you off we've got so much more living to do
And I'm still pretty sure I want to spend the rest of that time with you
Track Name: I'm Sorry
I'm sorry for calling you a bitch and a slut
Piece of shit, cunt, whore because I've found the one
That takes the cake for all of them
It's too bad I didn't meet her earlier
It would have made things easier
And probably a little less painful

But we can't go back in time
No matter how hard I try
I can't find the words to ease my mind
I'm sorry, forgive me, the same old lines

So now that we are over and done
She takes the cake but you're still a cunt
And I hope you endure a terrible death
I would say this to your face
But when I'm around you my anxiety makes me shake
And honestly, you're not worth the discomfort

But you probably know, that's a lie
And I'll always leave on a light
For when you decide on your own
To bring that bitch, slut, piece of shit, cunt whore ass on home
Track Name: I've Been Thinking
I had a thought at one point in my life
But then another thought made it's way into my mind
I don't know why it took me so long to realize
The initial thought has been expired for quite a while

I will never have a good enough excuse
To explain the things I put you through
And when I lay my head down to sleep
Your face is the only one I see in my dreams

I once had a thought but it's hard to recall
Because this new thought I have has been taking up all of my time
And I find that this thought on my mind
Keeps me preoccupied from any other thoughts on my mind

I've been thinking about something just a little more beautiful
Just a little more unique, makes me a little more happy
I can't begin to even think about believing it was me
Who took the risks I did for things i hate to feed these friendly fiends
Because now I'm left with nothing except ruins of a past
Containing friends who aren't friends and a relationship that could've last
If I hadn't been the one to bring this lethal storm ashore
And had left it out over the ocean and let nature run it's course

There will never be any excuse
The things I put you through, I shouldn't have put you through
Despite any past accusations
You're the only person I can honestly say that I loved
Track Name: What If
To think, what if everything went right
Knowing all along that it all went wrong
To think, what if everything went right
Even though we both know
There's nowhere to turn
There's nowhere to go
Except back home

Where all possible outcomes pile as high as the sky
In your mind, laying, eyes wide open in the quiet
Not satisfied with saying we tried
So now every situation plays out in your head
In every case, you chose the worst possible solution instead
So now, how do you ever expect this to survive

To know, that if everything went right
Despite knowing that it all went wrong
To know, that if everything went right
We'd both be alone
Not looking to turn
Not wanting to go
Together at home

To think if everything went right
Knowing all along that it all went wrong

I guess I must have a couple screws loose
If I'm running around ruining things this good
If it's meant to be, it'll happen, don't worry
That's what they keep telling me
And it seems I can't bring myself to believe
That everything that's happened happened for a reason
It sounds just a little too convenient
I wish they would just leave me be
The last thing I need is you bothering me
What if this was you in my position
Track Name: The Plan
I know things between us have started getting bad
I'm doing everything to make it last as long as it can
But now you say we're over, there's no good left, that's what you think
Two weeks later you call me up and tell me you're pregnant

And I know it's not a practical plan
But it's all that I had
To keep this relationship intact, to make it last
And I know it's not a practical plan
But now we're together again
I knew it'd work, this is going to last

We sit down for a discussion of what our options are
You suggest abortion and I say you've gone too far
And I convince you that it would be murder even though it's not
I just need all the pieces in order to complete my plot

We move in together, intent on marriage
Next thing I know, you're in the hospital, miscarriage
All I can think is, that's it, this is the end
But with a smile on your face you say you want to try again
Track Name: Remember
No THC, please
It makes it hard to remember things
And now the voice inside my head is not as loud as it used to be
And the conversations we have are now not as interesting
They're more along the lines of "I wish I could remember that happening"

But I recall her fucking me, and right back, I fucked her
And then we got together and fucked each other
The memory of that night still remains on my comforter
And it's been there for over a year

Remember that day, we traveled through time and space to that place
But on the way, "We're in the future." We must've taken a wrong turn.
That must be why they can find us here
Let's keep going and hope we'll find a fast track back to the past

Please tell me you remember that time
I showed up at your house with that book and two bras you couldn't find in your size
Please tell me you remember that time
The first night we met, we kissed, you're too cute to smoke, you know that, right
Please tell me you remember that time
The trip to Philly when we stayed the night and saw the Conchords take flight
Please tell me you remember that time
Then the trip to Philly then to Massachusetts and then back to see Myles of Destruction
And while in Massachusetts, we walked to 7-11 and got slurpees
But we got too much and should have just stuck to the free ones
Please tell me you remember that time
My cousin said to use the internet, for cards, my ass crack is where you swipe
Please tell me you remember that time
Our second trip to see Bill Burr in New York City at Caroline's

Please tell me that when you look back on this
You'll remember the good things
And forget the angry, anxious bastard you have dismissed
Track Name: ...And That Concludes This Chapter
She told me that she cared
She said leave me alone
I asked why all of a sudden
She said, I've told you before
You're a crazy piece of shit
Stinkin' up every little thing
In my life, so take a hike
Before you ruin everything

She said I put a gun to her head and forced her to speak
Well, I don't own a gun but it's clear to see
That she's caught up in indecision
Leaving my mind locked in prison of the mental state
Which gives me one great feat: to escape

Before we got back into this relationship
You failed to mention that I hadn't yet been forgiven
Not to say I should have even expected it
The more time went on, the less fit I was to receive it
But a heads up would've been nice, it would've been polite
And probably would've kept a couple of fights from breaking out
Kept me from freaking out, kept my voice calm instead of loud
And certain words from escaping from my mouth

It's never an expected thing to get shit on
By the one person you thought would always have your back
But turns out is just as whack as yourself
The combination creates hell
Points are missed, lines are crossed
Feelings hurt, love is lost
Yet the love is always there
But neither party really cares
They just want to forget the whole ordeal
And forever despise the ability to feel
Track Name: Response
The only thing I'll ever regret is smoking that pot/hash mix
Because my eyes and ears got fucked after that
Now I cant fucking see or hear anything, bitch
Quite the contrary, I hear and see everything, shit
And no, that wasn't my voice you heard over the phone receiver either
But don't worry, I'll find this idiot whoever he is
Then I'll beat him to death and we'll see who's mean then
And you can continue fucking Jeep Wrangler, Shayne
I was referring to the driver not the car itself, jesus
I'm not that fucked up in the head so please just
Leave me alone while I'm trying to catch some Z's but
Not before I put a hurtin' on this deserving girl I got here 'cause
I know she wants it and she knows I want to give it to her
Because bad ideas are always good before they happen at first
But then afterwards it's the worst thing to ever occur
Inside your head but then it happens again and again

So leave me alone while I pick up then destroy
Everything I've worked for
Goodbye until next time, whore

I fuck with feelings, you fuck with heads
OMG! LOL! There's two references there
I guess I'm not the only one on the path of destruction
Regardless of intention
Motherfuck these fucking feelings, it's a fucking disaster
Feelings are in the head, you fuck heads better than I can
I should take lessons, it's a blessing in disguise
I hope you weren't expecting too much from me, guys
Track Name: (stay) Away
It's been another day since my baby's been away
And I've been looking forward to say
How much I love her and how much I need her
And how much I want her to stay

I got your letter today and I just wanted to say...

You fucking suck, you fucking slut
I hope you die, I hope your throat gets cut
And you bleed out all over the fucking rug, you fucking cunt
I hope I never see your fucking face again
Because if I do, I will vomit and defecate every fucking which way
I know I don't want that and I couldn't care less what you think
'Cause I'll come through just to puke and fucking shit all over you
And when it's all said and done, it doesn't matter what happens
In the end you're the one who gets shit on, my friend

Please tell me you remember that time

When we went to CPK and you told me you gained weight
'Cause you'd get stoned and couldn't control how much you ate
Or when we went to the beach, you encountered a breach
In your backside, I'm surprised you made it out alive
And I know you've felt the fire that's burning inside both of us
But I have yet to feel the sensation
And that one time I went crazy in your house
Punched myself in the head, bled on the carpet
You were nice enough to clean it up