1. |
Catch & Release
01:47
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I guess I’m not the one that got away
I’m the one that you let go
Because you didn’t give a shit anymore
I’ve exhausted all means
Of expressing my feelings
But nothing yet has changed
I get stabbed in the back so much
It’s become a pastime of mine
My mind runs circles around itself
Trying to figure out what’s going on
I’m doing the math
And what you’re saying doesn’t add up
Your numbers are wrong
Or calculations incorrect
I’m tired of getting taken advantage of
Wading through someone else’s mess
How full of shit do you need to be
To know I’ve figure you out
But you’re sticking to the same story
No one owes anyone anything
We’re barely managing as it is
I’ve given slack but now I’m reeling it in
Because this catch isn’t great enough to keep
Now I’m considering releasing everything
So I can finally be free
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2. |
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I had a nervous breakdown
You had an ankle the size of a golf ball
There was a misunderstanding
We both knew what we wanted
But neither of us we’re ready to admit it
I want to thank you for being a friend
When everyone else gave up on me
And I hope one day I can return the favor
I had a pounding headache
You were lucky I was there to break your fall
We had an understanding
We both needed a drink, so we bought some beer
And that’s the last thing I remember
‘Cause I know I haven’t been the greatest friend
And don’t deserve anything I get
I’m hoping to improve, hopefully real soon
To feel comfortable in this bed I’ve made
I had a sneaking suspicion
But failed to present evidence
I had everything I needed
But the closer we got, the more it fell apart
You looked at me in disbelief
And told me I must be completely crazy
I can’t recall what I said
It’s so hard to remember
When you’re so easy to forget
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3. |
Haven't the Heart
03:09
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I stare at your picture up on the wall
I haven’t the nerve to take it down
Your eyes do something to me
I don’t understand, I can’t comprehend
Oh, baby, please help me see
I still read the letters you wrote
I haven’t the heart to throw them out
Even though it was a long time ago
I still feel the regret, can’t escape the penitence
Despite having those words grown cold
The black hole that replaced my soul
And the stone where my heart used to go
Is nobody’s fault but my own
Now all of these songs that I’ve sung
Are all I have left of you
My heart has been crushed into dust
But I know it’s my fault
So, one more song then I’m done
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4. |
Perspective of Us
03:00
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It was all in good taste
But you still chose to stay thousands of miles away
And you say that’s where you’ll remain
Until something’s changed
But we both know it’ll all stay the same
For eternity
I have no plans of living for that duration
So I guess we’ll never see each other’s faces again
We probably won’t keep in touch
Unless you change your perspective of us
There’s only so much I can say
Only so much I can do
There’s only so much I can take
Only so much I can prove to you
To confirm that my feelings are true
Who knew all of this is what we’d allow to ensue
Somewhere along the way
We lost the balance we had once established
While my heart’s hanging on
Despite not thinking it’s for the best
My brain’s sending out a cease and desist
But I can’t, I can’t make it stop
Even though I know that it’s wrong
And allowed it to drop off the face of the earth
It will continue on, until there’s nothing left of either of us
I’ve said all that I could say
Done all that I can do
I’ve taken all that I can take
And still have yet to prove to you
That the feelings that I have are true
But you refuse to believe we can start anew
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5. |
Almost
02:58
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I almost never wash my hands
And I almost never get sick
The only time I get ill is after a flu shot
Which is why I gave up that shit
I’ll admit, I’m not the greatest at making the right decision
So here I sit, waiting for you to give up on me one more time
I can handle it
I can handle anything you throw at me
Give it your best shot and we’ll see what sticks
Welcome back to the granite
Countertops with stone backsplashes
I’m here again, but I’ll be leaving you
Someday soon
By the time you realize what you’ve lost
I’ll already be gone
By the time you hear this song
We’ll both already know you were wrong
I guess it’s none of my concern
Nothing I need to wrap my head around
But once I walk away, that’s the bed you’ve made
Be prepared to lay yourself down
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6. |
Dead Weight
01:58
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It’s finally a new day
Need to find me a new way
To fight off this dead weight
I am done with this shit
Trust is hard to come by
Which is why I’ve invested so much time in myself
‘Cause trying to overlook the bad and give the benefit of the doubt
Is sticking your hand in the alligator’s mouth
Expecting that fucker not to bite down
In the end, we’re sorely mistaken
We’re left torn and misshapen
Because we let ourselves be taken for fools
And with no strict rules to follow
Every promise feels hollow
Prepare yourself to be swallowed by the clouds overhead
My body’s been bled dry
Beaten more times than a dead horse would ever advise
And now I’m stuck here in this situation
Waiting for my injection of motivation to arrive
Delivery status: delayed
Put on hold until further notice
Because you won’t get goat piss until all parties are satisfied
I know it seems bogus, all you’ve got to do is focus
And wait for the storm to pass by
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7. |
About That Time
02:56
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It’s about that time again
Where everyone is happy and I’m left all alone
To face the demons I have
They never want to go quietly
They always hang on to the fact that
I’ve lost all I had all over again
This time I fear I’ll never get any of it back
I’ve lost all I had all over again
It’s about that time again
The worst part about this whole situation is it never ends
But I try the best that I can
To keep it from perpetuating but there’s already almost nothing left
I’ve considered all possible outcomes
But I have lost all the momentum I needed to change
And I’ve got no one else but myself to blame for this mess that I’m in
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8. |
Fought
03:15
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I fought for our love
And I failed miserably
I fought to save friends
As they flailed selfishly
Now on the bottom
All I can think is
I haven’t had to fight for my life
Too many a time
I fought to be sane
And lost more than I had
I fought for the past
And now it’s happening again
Now the pain in your eyes
Is all that I see since
I haven’t had to fight for my life
Too many a time
What matters most isn’t always top of the list
Please take a step back because I think you’re missing the fact
That I don’t want to put you through any of this
So let’s grab a glass and drink to our predicament
I fought to forget
It came all rushing back
I fought to remember
And got the exact opposite
I’ve exhausted myself crying
Over the things that I lack because
I haven’t had to fight for my life
Too many a time
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9. |
My Sober Thoughts
03:13
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My sober thoughts tend to keep me awake
Without alcohol, I don’t know how to behave
It’s often sought after to be okay
But I’m always caught up in fray
I spend every day alone in my head
Alone in my bed
My sober thoughts can’t keep the monsters at bay
Without alcohol, I fall right on my face
I’ve always fought for what I thought were
The sane and rational traits that were expected of me
I can’t think straight
I can feel it coming on
I can’t see straight
I can feel it coming on
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10. |
Disaster
03:02
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When I die and go to hell,
I won’t be lonely ‘cause you’ll all be there with me
You’re all coming with me
When I drink to numb my soul
I won’t be sad ‘cause it’s everything I need
It’s the only thing I need
I’m a disaster that’s already happened
But won’t accept the fact
When I look into your eyes
I won’t be afraid ‘cause I know what I’ll find
I know exactly what I’ll find
When I start on down this road
I won’t get lost ‘cause I know where it goes
It’s taking me home
I never quite found the right words to say
It’s a mess I have made again
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11. |
Drag
03:21
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Throw me under the bus
Then tell me to walk it off
I’ll drag my broken body as fast as I can away
From everything I failed to create
I drank myself sober for the 3rd time this week
I thought it’d get easier
But once forgotten, history is doomed to repeat
I need to pry myself loose
From the grasp this life has around my neck
From the constant battles with myself
I need to find comfort in something before this ends
I’m drinking my second cup of coffee today
It just makes the headaches worse
But I’d rather be cursed and in pain
Than dwell on the loneliness
In this room, in this place, this isn’t escape
It’s avoidance at best
Finding comfort in something is proving to be difficult
I’ll keep blaming myself for the way everything is
‘Cause I know I never put enough effort in
To make a change
I’ll never make a change
Don’t think too hard
You’ll just regret it later
When you realize any thought is futile
Is futile
It’s futile
I’m futile
We’re futile
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