What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Wish It Had

by The Business Fairy

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01:35
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02:24
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credits

released December 31, 2014

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The Business Fairy Blairstown, New Jersey

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Track Name: Sick Day
I want to get it all back, I thought I'd get it all back
I want to get it all back, but I can't
I thought I'd get it all back, I want to get it all back
I thought I'd get it all back, but I can't
I built this wall of trust around the two of us
I didn't realize that it wouldn't be enough
To not get stabbed in the back
I got stabbed in the back
I let my guard down, you creeped up behind me
And inserted the blade

I fucking wish I was dead, so I never feel this way again

I would do anything just to get it all back
Please just give it all back, but you can't
Please just give it all back, I would do anything
Just to get it all back, but you can't
The walls that I built for us weren’t strong enough
You sabotaged the whole thing from the start, this is all your fault
I thought you were someone to trust, but it was me who you crushed
I let my guard down, you creeped up behind me
And inserted the blade
Track Name: The Tumbleweeds
He said, she said
It's all a bunch of bullshit
Want to blow my brains out
Drain the blood from my body
Use it as a punching bag

I went underground with the tumbleweeds
You can't catch me, motherfucker, catch me
I know I'm lacking but I'm trying to be
Someone so much better than me
And that's why I'm down here, living among the tumbleweeds

Though I'm trying, I keep fucking up
Less from the boredom, more from depression
I'd take back what I've said and done
But this life only sold me a one-way ticket
I'm losing my mind, worse things could happen
I get frustrated over the fact that when
I try to improve myself, I fall short of what I need
And that's why I'm down here living, among the tumbleweeds
Track Name: Life Would Go On
If my life ended, life would go on
Like it’s always done
With the exception of me here
To fuck it up, I always fuck it up
Time is a lie, and so was my love
I think I’ve had enough
‘Cause if my life ended, life would go on
Life would go on

I’m happy, I’m sad
I’m fucking angry, I’m glad
That I don’t have to live forever

I have no faith in anything
I’m falling apart at the seams
I lost myself along the way
My steps are impossible to retrace
If time is a lie, aren’t we all
This is all my fault
‘Cause if my life ended, life would go on
Life would go on

Give me a chance to make it right
Or fuck it up one last time
Track Name: A Love Lost, A Penny Earned
We both fought to get here
We both thought we wouldn’t make it
But we both ended up in the same place
The knots were taut around our necks
We both thought this was for the best
We’d rather be dead than feel this way again

But the love that we lost
Was just the thing we needed to carry on
It planted the seed inside our hearts
And those seeds, they grew
No one could have ever known
That they’d grow to the extent that they’re at now

It seems I lost myself on the way to find you
And now that we’re together
I’m still not exactly sure where I am
I’d sacrifice my own well-being to see this through to the end
Because I’d rather be dead than feel that way again

I lost myself inside my own head
Until you join me inside my mind
You can quit telling me how you think I should feel
I’ve felt this way my whole goddamn life
Don’t think anything’s going to change
Just because you’re telling you think it should
I’ll drown my sorrow in whatever I find fitting
I’ll exacerbate the matter if I that find it suits me
I’ll give up, I’ll give in, I’ll surround myself with sin
But with you here by my side, I’ll consider changing my life
Track Name: Dead Inside
I know I said that I wish I was dead
But I lied because I’ve already died
If you look into my eyes
You can see that I’m already dead inside
I’m too drunk to read, too drunk to sleep
A bullet in the fucking head is really all I need
So I lay here half awake, waiting for death
I guess this is goodbye, because I’ve already died

I’ve already died, I’m dead inside
I guess this is goodbye

Forgive me for failing to give a shit
About not giving a fuck in the first place
Shoot me in the head
Fuck my lifeless body as compensation
I don’t even know what I’m saying
Being this depressed is exhausting
Constantly contemplating these suicidal thoughts
I see what you’re doing, you can’t hide
Since I’ve already died, I guess this is goodbye

Blame the individual for the action
Blame humanity for the inaction
Track Name: Where It All Ends
I'll stand by your side if you just leave me be
I'll take you somewhere nice if you just take it easy
The connections got crossed
The dial tone faded out
We got lost in the noise
But there was no one around

Sometimes more effort is needed despite intent
I never intended to hurt you as much as I did
But now you're gone and I'm calling it even
Because you leaving hurts more than anything I've experienced

I'm sure you would've stayed had I just kept my mouth shut
Kept both hands at my sides and not acted like such a fucking cunt
My brain shorted out
Left to drown in intent
I went to say the words
But you had already left
This all seems familiar
This is how it began
And then I realized
I had fucked up again

This is how we proceed
This is where it all ends