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What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Wish It Had

by The Business Fairy

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1.
Sick Day 01:35
I want to get it all back, I thought I'd get it all back I want to get it all back, but I can't I thought I'd get it all back, I want to get it all back I thought I'd get it all back, but I can't I built this wall of trust around the two of us I didn't realize that it wouldn't be enough To not get stabbed in the back I got stabbed in the back I let my guard down, you creeped up behind me And inserted the blade I fucking wish I was dead, so I never feel this way again I would do anything just to get it all back Please just give it all back, but you can't Please just give it all back, I would do anything Just to get it all back, but you can't The walls that I built for us weren’t strong enough You sabotaged the whole thing from the start, this is all your fault I thought you were someone to trust, but it was me who you crushed I let my guard down, you creeped up behind me And inserted the blade
2.
He said, she said It's all a bunch of bullshit Want to blow my brains out Drain the blood from my body Use it as a punching bag I went underground with the tumbleweeds You can't catch me, motherfucker, catch me I know I'm lacking but I'm trying to be Someone so much better than me And that's why I'm down here, living among the tumbleweeds Though I'm trying, I keep fucking up Less from the boredom, more from depression I'd take back what I've said and done But this life only sold me a one-way ticket I'm losing my mind, worse things could happen I get frustrated over the fact that when I try to improve myself, I fall short of what I need And that's why I'm down here living, among the tumbleweeds
3.
If my life ended, life would go on Like it’s always done With the exception of me here To fuck it up, I always fuck it up Time is a lie, and so was my love I think I’ve had enough ‘Cause if my life ended, life would go on Life would go on I’m happy, I’m sad I’m fucking angry, I’m glad That I don’t have to live forever I have no faith in anything I’m falling apart at the seams I lost myself along the way My steps are impossible to retrace If time is a lie, aren’t we all This is all my fault ‘Cause if my life ended, life would go on Life would go on Give me a chance to make it right Or fuck it up one last time
4.
We both fought to get here We both thought we wouldn’t make it But we both ended up in the same place The knots were taut around our necks We both thought this was for the best We’d rather be dead than feel this way again But the love that we lost Was just the thing we needed to carry on It planted the seed inside our hearts And those seeds, they grew No one could have ever known That they’d grow to the extent that they’re at now It seems I lost myself on the way to find you And now that we’re together I’m still not exactly sure where I am I’d sacrifice my own well-being to see this through to the end Because I’d rather be dead than feel that way again I lost myself inside my own head Until you join me inside my mind You can quit telling me how you think I should feel I’ve felt this way my whole goddamn life Don’t think anything’s going to change Just because you’re telling you think it should I’ll drown my sorrow in whatever I find fitting I’ll exacerbate the matter if I that find it suits me I’ll give up, I’ll give in, I’ll surround myself with sin But with you here by my side, I’ll consider changing my life
5.
Dead Inside 02:24
I know I said that I wish I was dead But I lied because I’ve already died If you look into my eyes You can see that I’m already dead inside I’m too drunk to read, too drunk to sleep A bullet in the fucking head is really all I need So I lay here half awake, waiting for death I guess this is goodbye, because I’ve already died I’ve already died, I’m dead inside I guess this is goodbye Forgive me for failing to give a shit About not giving a fuck in the first place Shoot me in the head Fuck my lifeless body as compensation I don’t even know what I’m saying Being this depressed is exhausting Constantly contemplating these suicidal thoughts I see what you’re doing, you can’t hide Since I’ve already died, I guess this is goodbye Blame the individual for the action Blame humanity for the inaction
6.
I'll stand by your side if you just leave me be I'll take you somewhere nice if you just take it easy The connections got crossed The dial tone faded out We got lost in the noise But there was no one around Sometimes more effort is needed despite intent I never intended to hurt you as much as I did But now you're gone and I'm calling it even Because you leaving hurts more than anything I've experienced I'm sure you would've stayed had I just kept my mouth shut Kept both hands at my sides and not acted like such a fucking cunt My brain shorted out Left to drown in intent I went to say the words But you had already left This all seems familiar This is how it began And then I realized I had fucked up again This is how we proceed This is where it all ends

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released December 31, 2014

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The Business Fairy Blairstown, New Jersey

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